The 3 Lies People Told Me About Being a Mom
There are billions of mothers in the world. Yes billions. Many people have a mother and people are always giving you advice on what it means to be a mom. There are folks with good experiences and bad who will prescribe their rules onto you. With that being said, motherhood is very situational. Deeply personal. It’s such a unique journey where a lot of the “rules” don’t apply to a lot of people. These are the things people told me would happen when I became a mother that didn’t:
1. You won’t be able to travel.
I’m sure it is true for a lot of people, but it was definitely not my truth. I think for some people, they meant that I wouldn’t be able to go backpacking for months on end in a random corner of the world. That much , for me is true. I am much less inclined to do that as a mother. For others, I think they meant I would have to suspend traveling to take care of a child. I’d have to say, this one, of all of the things people told me, didn’t fit my personal narrative. My daughter’s first flight was prenatal to Puerto Rico and she’s been off ever since, traveling to dozens of countries spanning 4 continents. The real barrier to travel can be finances. Often times if you are struggling to economically support yourself, you may also struggle to support traveling. The truth is, if you love travel and make it a priority before you have a child, chances are you will continue to love it after this little person enters your life. I’d definitely say, you have to be laser focused on prioritizing travel during motherhood so that it won’t take a backseat to other things.
2. You won’t have time for anything else/life will stop.
My life didn’t end but it definitely entered a better phase for me. There are so many “anything elses.” Being committed to motherhood does allow you one of the greatest life lessons in time management. Since becoming a mother, I’ve become even more committed to making sure I have time for “everything else.” Before my daughter was 4, I’d have to say time was a bit more scarce but after she went to school and found friends and hobbies of her own, I had a lot more free time. Like anything new that comes into your life though, it will be time consuming initially but you learn how to manage. Interestingly enough, I’ve since critiqued my life pre-motherhood, believing I had no time even then. If it matters, you will make the time.
3. It will feel natural.
I remember thinking-what is so natural about a person, a living human being crying at 2am? And what do you mean this person can’t speak? I definitely was not a natural. Even more interesting than not being a natural, I was surprised every single day and continue to be. There are days when I am sure my 8 year old will run in the street if I don’t hold her hand. And then there are days when I am convinced that someone who just liked salmon yesterday and now no longer likes it, is the unnatural one. But then there are moments that are very natural, like hugs and kisses and the need to keep your child safe.
So those were all the things that people told me that didn’t become apart of my truth, what are some things people told you that didn’t become apart of your truth?