The Rise of Ike Turner

Ike Turner meme [ I do not own this picture and I do not who does]. 

Culture critics with a sense of humor may be too busy finding solace with common folk to find fault in this new phenomenon that’s sweeping the world of social media. If I have to scroll through my Instagram timeline to see another meme of Ike Turner, I think I’m going to throw up.

Ike Turner personifies domestic violence. Ike Turner enjoyed a confounding mainstream persona years before the now infamous What’s Love Got to Do With It movie shed a light on his troubling marriage to superstar Tina Turner.  What many of us witnessed in that movie amounted to marital rape, choking, slapping, punching, and emotional distress of a Black woman year after year. If someone says they are “going to Ike Turner” you, then they won’t be giving you a hug.

And then, to make matters worse Jay Z spouts in the hook of Drunk in Love:

Catch a charge, I might, beat the box up like Mike…I’m like Ike Turner

Baby know I don’t play, now eat the cake Annie Mae. Said, eat the cake, Annie Mae.

Wait. What? Rewind. Did that just come out of Jay Z’s mouth? International rap extraordinaire, husband to self-proclaimed feminist Beyonce? In a song about pleasure? Confusion.                                                                                                                              

So when did we decide to popularize domestic violence offenders? When did we sanction the misogynic history of such a polarizing figure? When did we forget that patriarchy influences also what we find humor in? When did we start fetishizing one of the most dishonorable violent offenders in pop culture history? I missed that shit.

Surely Ike can be both polarizing and atrocious and simultaneously funny?

Ok I could concede that the memes are actually trying to poke fun at Ike himself and his perceived extreme way of thinking. That’s worthy of a quiet 2-second chuckle to oneself.  But people are doing more than just laughing to them selves. They are reposting. They are commenting. They are spreading this shit like wild fire. And the things these memes say are not quotes that poke fun at Ike. Oh no. These are memes that further objectify women. Some quotes are so outrageous, so controlling that it is unbelievable and thus there is where the humor lies. But many of them are actually playing out in relationships young and old across the country right now.

Once again though we are left with the reminder of the broken Black female body that he abused. This body continues to remain fodder for public humiliation. Instead of containing these pictures to a small, ignorant few of us, this has bled into boardrooms and awkward train station encounters. Why do I have to glimpse at young, Asian teenage boys laughing at an Ike Turner meme on my way to work?  Why does Ike Turner have to be the dominant figure in this joke against aggressive boyfriends anyway? Why does this egregious man have to be the image that starts uncontrollable laughter? Is he a clown? Yes. Do I want to see his stern mug and piercing eyes and mushroomed hair underneath a quote that is trying to get me to lose weight? No. 

And no. I'm not embarrassed on behalf of all Black people around the world because of some pseudo allegiance to respectability politics. I get that Black folk are human and therefore represent the spectrum of human dignity and downfall. This is not some feminine plea for respect. This is simply an honest critique of what we find funny in society and how that too needs to be checked. 

I can laugh without reprising some of the most disdainful people in music. Truly I can. I do it all the time. I laugh when people wear lime green from head to toe, I laugh almost every time I’m in the Midwest and someone thinks NYC is like Timesquare, I laugh when toddlers pass gas, I laugh at Charlamange the God every morning, I laugh at NeNe Leakes when she’s reading someone in the confessional, I laugh at Funkie Dineva when she does a review of R&B Divas. I know how to laugh.

I don’t laugh at Ike Turner. Ike Turner images. Ike Turner references. Or Ike Turner name drops.

So here’s the thing, I’m just not in to domestic violence. I like Jay Z. I like Instagram. I even like to gawk at memes being both appalled and humored. But nothing about domestic violence and controlling men is funny to me. As a child who lived in a family where violence was prevalent and commonplace, I don’t find anything about glorying perpetrators of patriarchal violence humorous.

I’m just asking that we scale back on our creation of infamy of Ike. When his name is being spread across the world on the number one album like he’s done something right, I take issue. It says something about our collective acceptance of our contentment with abuse. It says something about our disturbing inclination to report, share, and laugh at someone who is the exact opposite of funny. It says something about our collective desire to want shit to be funny that we decide it’s funny even when it shouldn’t be. It says something that we take pleasure in someone else’s pain when Ike Turner becomes the new face of funny.

When someone says no...believe them.

“Why don’t you want to have children?”

You heard it. The answer was no.

She said no sir. Do you know that it is tremendously insulting to continue to berate an adult woman who has said to you on multiple occasions that she has come to the reasonable conclusion that she has decided not to utilize her uterus for the production of human life?  And that shit is fine, well, and good. And it is her very personal decision. Not worthy of conversation, scrutiny, or even comment by the likes of you.

Personally, I like kids. I believe that kids are God’s gift to the world. I haven’t met a baby, I didn’t immediately want to give my entire life too. That’s me. I love children. I find it to be a personal choice. A choice for which I am grateful to have. I know that there are other women, who equally enjoy children or not and choose to not actually give birth to them. I don’t find that odd. I also don’t immediately inquire about some tragic life event that I imagine that must have had. I don't believe this woman to be selfish or self serving. No. I believe in choice. And I believe that a woman should do with her body as she sit fit. I also believe it to be honest and intuitive. You know you best. 

It’s in fact very unsupportive when you continue to tell a woman that she should reconsider. Really sir? At 30 years old. When she has spent 15 years of her life knowing with extreme certainty that she does not want to have children. We are not above learning new things from our fellow citizens, however the next time you hear a woman say “No” to such a personal question, do us all a favor and back down.

Good night. 

Beyonce and the politics of Makeup

Beyonce

Somewhere in the depths of Regular, Illinois there is a plainly spoken person, in a regular ass blazer, with some regular ass jeans and some regular ass shoes, living a totally regular existence….hating on Beyonce.

I’m no Beyonce stan. It’s 6:36PM on Friday, December 13 and I have yet to download her mysterious, surprise, self-titled album. Although my twitter feed and instagram is full of Beyonce pictures and song lyrics, I have not been tempted enough to purchase her album. Yet. Let’s be clear: I think Beyonce is good. I love to run to her music on the treadmill and I know the words to “Single Ladies” like every good American. I remember vividly standing on the street corner of Union Square in Manhattan watching Beyonce exit a Black SUV just 10 feet away from me on a warm, summer night two years ago. She looked like a jar of smooth peanut butter. I literally wanted to leap over and bite her leg; she was beautiful.

As I begin to scroll through these social media memes, I am reminded of how ugly people can be when we begin to talk about beauty and Beyonce.

After scrolling through a friends' twitter picture discussing their over joy for her physicality someone commented, “ I wonder how she would look without all that makeup? I wish artists could look more like Aaliyah. #natural beauty”

While I used to believe that there was too much hype around Beyonce’s beauty, I have to admit: There are some Beyonce haters out there.

Does beauty lack intersectionality? How do you know so matter-of-factly that you’ve never seen Beyonce without makeup? And what non-makeup face are you waiting to fawn over as approved by the hormone Gods?  And what makes you think Aaliyah's no-makeup makeup look required less hours of application than a full faced Grammy Awards show attending Beyonce? How petty and nuanced are you actually about to be about her highlighting and contouring job before you realize you've just waisted 10 minutes of your life looking at her real-life cheek bones? Hashtag No Makeup. 

As a beauty junkie and makeup nerd, this obviously struck a chord with me, as I’ve too heard people say things like this to me. Why is my makeup making you feel like I cheated in some competition of beauty? Get it together.

There’s the perception that some people have that ‘beauty’ has a purity to it that requires one to appear to be makeup less, weave less, filter less, etc. I could break your heart and tell you how much makeup your favorite natural artist actually has on but makeup shaming is not my thing. You can have your dreams. Hashtag Natural Beauty.

"I woke up like this. We flawless."-Beyonce. 

So you want to see what exactly? And who decides what is ‘natural enough’? Would you like to see Beyonce without her eyebrows waxed or without a relaxer? Would you like to see Beyonce before her vegan diet? Would you like to see Beyonce before she tans or without fake lashes or without whatever alteration to her physical appearance you think she’s had that has tricked the general public into thinking she is beautiful?

Let’s face it: You are a hater. 

Not because you shouldn’t be validly concerned about the media’s continual display of their ideas of perfection and billion dollar cosmetics companies profiting from our own insecurities. Not because you shouldn’t be validly concerned about what that message, and Beyonce’s unknowing role in that message, sends to our daughters about their natural appearances. Not that you shouldn’t be concerned about the over emphasis on women’s physical appearance as a measure of their success, because you should. Not that you shouldn’t be concerned about what message the over emphasis on Beyonce’s complexion or waist size or eye shape or cheek bones sends to young women and girls who don’t share her looks. You should. Not that you shouldn’t be concerned about the binary that we continue to create with Beyonce’s type of beauty and those whose nose isn’t as slender as hers is, because you should.

I have a feeling this isn’t what this is. This is another attempt at people trying to once again tell women how they can and can not be beautiful.

How did we get into this rabbit hole of judging women’s beauty based off of their ability to apply makeup or not? Many women that I encounter who have an unhealthy disdain for other women who wear makeup, tend to be women who are trying to figure out how to apply it correctly. I’ve also found that some men who have a disdain for makeup tend to want to control the appearance of women in their lives. I’ve also heard people judge women’s makeup based on how much they can tell they are wearing makeup. Because in their homophobic minds, the more makeup you wear the closer to a trans woman you are, which for them is the ultimate form of trickery. I’ve also found that many women who have an unhealthy disdain, not just a mild criticism, to other women who wear makeup tend to lack the ability to recognize when others are actually wearing makeup and when they are not.

I love makeup. In the way that I love scrapbooking and writing. It is a creative outlet. It is a pastime for me that I’m not necessarily an expert at but I do well enough that some people take notice. I could spend any given day in what a real regular person would consider “a lot of makeup.” Some people are so used to seeing me with foundation on that when they see me without foundation, they don’t know.  I’ve received compliments in both occasions. I’ve felt equally uncomfortable and comfortable with and without makeup but I always feel like my beautiful self.

There is one place I can think of, where I have never worn makeup: the braid shop. I get my hair braided pretty regularly and one day I was showing a picture of myself and my stylist said, “Did you do your makeup in this picture? I didn’t know you wear makeup. You don’t strike me as someone who wears makeup.” Me? Anyone who knows me, would be shocked to hear anyone say that about me.

I don’t believe Beyonce or women like her who wear makeup are hiding under a mask of insecurity.

And we can talk about what dictates beautiful in this society-which is an equally valid concern. But it’s makeup not magic. You should stop following these makeup artists on Instagram because you are clearly carried away by what you think non-theatrical makeup can do.

Just know this:

Beyonce with no makeup

Stop trying to dismiss Beyonce's beauty or anyone elses.

She can dip her face in blue paint and any reasonable person who subscribes to that standard of beauty would say she is beautiful.

She can wipe off the makeup and does. At the end of the day that is her bone structure. And you can’t change that. You are giving makeup too much credit for Beyonce’s beauty. 

Smorgasburg: When it's cold...

Today was a high of 38 degrees in the great borough of Brooklyn. Not to be out done by the weather, we headed to Williamsburg to rummage through some cool antiques and take our chances on some artisanal cheeses. 

Suggestions:

• Mighty Quinn's: If the line is any indication of how great the food is, it's this place. It is worth the time to stay in the line. MQ's is arguably one of the best mainstream barbecue places in NYC. I strongly suggest the pulled pork or the brisket sandwiches. 
• S'More Bakery: The deserts are pricey, with a stuffed gingersnap costing $2, but well worth it. If you are a foodie, and deserts are your thing, you should definitely check out this place. There are lots of home made s'mores and baked cookies.
• Red Hook Lobster Pound: Because, let's be honest, hot buttery lobster on a toasted bun in the winter time is probably the best reminder that there is a summer.  

Avoid: 

• Smorgasburg is always lacking racial diversity but never lacking t-shirt diversity. I say avoid the 'vintage t-shirt' sections at all cost. Some can cost you as much as $100 when Williamsburg is full of good thrift stores just around the corner. 

Smorgasburg

The Flea

Vintage Boots Galore

Jewelry

Treats

S'more Bakery

Brisket

Mighty Quinns